Ðıspħerał, Pt. 1
Deep into the forest you go, with only a welding laser and a loose robe; where the gnomes and cyborgs exist together, and everyone there is part of the show.
Burn It All
Probably around 2016 I met a guy at a bar, a friend of a friend of a friend, who was somewhat skittish, drank a lot of Scandinavian aperitifs, and kept mumbling about burning Japan. Even without context, that was an interesting enough proposition that I pursued it in conversation - what ever could he be talking about? By “burning” did he mean arson? And if so, what were his proposed targets? Presumably that’s where “Japan” came in, but that’s a pretty large swathe of land to incinerate, and he couldn’t possibly have that much firepower. But even if he did, he couldn’t possibly be such a super villain that he wanted utter annihilation of all existence, including flora and fauna, right? The “Bad Guys” are usually angry at business owners or religious leaders, the target of their ire, and not, you know, squirrels and mushrooms and rivers and shit.
Soon enough, however, the twitchy guy sitting next to me now slurping Jäger shots loudly without picking them up, his shaggy locks mopping up the refuse of a dive bar now hours into a lively Friday night, explained that I had the wrong idea. “I mean THE BURRRN,” he gulped, inculcating in me a confidence that there was something more here than met the eye.
He was speaking, of course, of the unofficial branch of the legendary Burning Man festival, held annually for, as he put it “like, a bunch of years,” and named, unceremoniously and I think probably at least a little bit ironically, Burning Japan. Because “Japan” rhymes with “Man,” I figure but did not not bother confirming. He sang increasingly manic praise of the DJs and their unique, wood-y sounds; explained with deflated gesticulations how transhumanism permeated the forest; and whispered to me tales of the magic of The Wild and how it envelopes attendees, imparting upon them cosmic learnings.
And so that mesmerizing conversation continued a bit more, but I eventually grew weary of my now-sleepy compatriot, made my exit, and quickly did nothing to explore it further.
Then, in 2022, I was invited to attend the planning gatherings for a long-running rural music event, which I thought sounded cool. So I showed up, and it was alright, and somewhere along the line I realized I was sitting in on the planning committee for Burning Japan 2022. I met both new and old friends there, and made some plans, but then something happened - I think it was a girl - and I ended up not going once again.
But the revelation that Burning Japan was not a call for chaos but an invitation to a surreal gathering sparked a curiosity that would have to be satiated yet another year later. Enter 2023, the year the stars aligned, and thank goodness because gee whiz what a wild time Burning Japan is. I finally sauntered simultaneously confidently and curiously into the enigmatic world of Burning Japan, a cultural odyssey and oddity that defies the mundane and celebrates the extraordinary.
Phase 1: Commitment
Much like most other events, tickets are involved in attending Burning Japan. They are available online, and are not difficult to buy. But it was a bit of a journey to get there. This year, after I’d been brewing beer at Yggdrasil in Hiratsuka that I’ve mentioned in previous issues of Above & Below, the topic came up with a friend at the brew pub who had been at The Burn last year (let’s call them Y). As I’ve said before, it sounded fun, but I wasn’t yet convinced or sufficiently motivated, so I continued blowing it off.
Later in the year, I mistakenly thought that the Earthless concert I also attended at a mountaintop venue was the same weekend such that I definitely wouldn’t be able to go. Around that time, though, an old friend from back in the day at Mori no Ike resurfaced (let’s call them X) and they came over to Japan to hang out, where we discussed a number of things including their experiences at Burning Man, which, of course, made me ask X if they were aware of Burning Japan, which they were not, but interested.
So then X left, a bunch of other stuff came up, I booked more and more concerts, and sorta forgot about it again, but then… I don’t know what happened. Everything fell together, including the universe sorta just pointing me at the dates of Burning Japan 2023 once again and I realized that I had no overlaps.
So I contacted Y about it, and then X about it, too, and they all said yeah, so I went to go look at tickets, which were surprisingly reasonable at ¥15,000 for 4 days and 3 nights + ¥3,000 for parking. But there were only a few tickets left, so I had to act quickly in order to secure them, which worked, and so I had tickets to Burning Japan.
Phase 2: Preparation
These kind of events tend to be held at quite remote destinations, and Burning Japan 2023 was certainly in line with that expectation. If you don’t have a car, I’m willing to say its impossible to get there, so good thing I’ve got a trusty Suzuki Jimny. That was the first thing to lock in.
But then there’s food and water and gear and costumes to consider, which itself wasn’t all that difficult as I camp a decent amount. I usually aim for 4 liters of water per person per day. I also like to bring dry and canned foods - at least 3 servings per person per day - not necessarily because I’m a big fan of them, but because they’re great backups for emergencies, although I do quite like canned mackerel.
Then comes gear. Its camping, so you better bring a tent, sleeping mat, tarp, and sleeping bag. Toiletries also a pretty obvious thing to pack. Barbecue and various fire-related items such as wood, fire starter, fire gloves, grill, tongs, and tableware. I packed one of my acoustic guitars, too. And then a whole bunch of other goofy stuff: a very large laser, a cyclops sunglass, a yukata, climbing shoes, and an artifact from a past relationship that I really wanted to burn.
After you get the emergency foodstuffs, gear, and goofiness out of the way, then begins the fun. First comes the barbecuing foods, and since I’m such a big fan of wild game I went to my favorite butcher (Yama no Megumi) in Yugawara and ordered about $150 of boar and venison. I also went to my local brewery (Humans Beer) for 3 6 packs of their most recent brew. Fun aside - I got extra boar heart and liver from Yama no Megumi, and also confirmed that Humans Beer is interested in doing a collaboration like I do with Yggdrasil.
All of that and a few extras (2x tents, 2x sleeping bags, 2x mats, emergency clothing), I was ready to pack my car. Thankfully, I did so before promising anyone else a ride because once I had everything squared away, there wasn’t very much room at all for anything else. So off I went to the campground.
Phase 3: Ascension
From the moment I entered the general area of the campgrounds, it was clear that things got weird quick in this strange in-between land. The music was already pulsing through the forests, and there were strange beings wandering along otherwise empty but definitely winding mountain roads. Art installations peaked out from behind trees, or suddenly became apparent overhead, each from a universe unto itself, and beckoning me further into the embrace of the wild as I drove myself down the normally lonely road
I pulled up to Site A at around 9PM, but while the lights and the aliens and beasts were certainly present behind it, the gate was closed with a friendly sign saying to that after 7PM attendees needed to go further down the mountain to Site B to check in. And so I did continue my drive, by about 5 more minutes, and when I found Site B I was quickly greeted by a few friendly faces ready to assist my check-in process.
It was a super simple procedure. I gave them my ticket (received in the mail a week or so earlier (I think they should fix that and make it all digital)), and they gave me my wrist band and parking permit. Then they told me there was still more space up at Site A, where all the major parties were held and I should get a spot up there if I could, but if I wanted a quieter place to come back to then Site B was more than welcoming.
With that choice given to me, I immediately realized my age as my first reaction was, “Yeah the party sounds nice but I want a cozy respite from the chaos so I should do Site B.” But I also realized that I hadn’t yet even seen Site A, so that I might as well check it out just to know that I knew what I was getting myself into.
So back up the road I went in my Jimny to Site A I went. Site A was definitely the life of the party, and it wasn’t particularly easy to drive around, which I interpreted as meaning it’d still be a good bit before I was able to settle down if I were to make a proper judgment call on Site A. Well, I really wanted to get to the party, and the ability to retreat from the stimulation whenever I pleased was still attractive, so I returned to Site B in about 5 minutes’ time.
There, I was allowed to park my car, find a camp site, and unload, which I did at a nice corner in the far back against the trees and near the bathroom. This turned out to be an extremely fortuitous decision, but I’ll get to that later. I sent up my tent and my gear, and then drove further down to the parking lot. I locked my car, and set out back up the steep, long, dark, empty forest road on foot to go begin The Burn.
To Be Continued
I’ve already got something like 6 more pages of this written, describing the actual Burn, but I’m starting to feel bad for you, lovely reader, cause this has already gotten pretty damn long. So I’m gonna give you a break! Stay tuned for my first-hand experience at Burning Japan 2023.
Newsworthy
Phew. Alright. Got through that part. The important part. But I also like quipping, as well as highlighting little wins or neat happenings going on in my life, so without further ado, here’s a bunch of stuff!
Blood Rite 18
This Saturday at Earthdom in Shinjuku! This is the first time I’ll be on stage since the pandemic ran through town, and with such a completely stellar lineup. And we got a new beer for it too, in extremely limited release. Drop by
End It Already, Softbank
Once again, SoftBank’s eaten a whole big bucket of its own shit, and this bugs the hell out of me. Masayoshi Son’s story is the kind that I want to see more of - well, with some modifications here and there, but its a real rags-to-riches kinda deal. He got off to such a good start, had some genuinely innovative approaches to business and investing, and really had a pretty great run of it. Decades long.
But I guess its one of those things, you know. He had his time. These past, what, 8 years or so have been utterly embarrassing for the guy, and yet I don’t think that he is really able to be toppled all that easily, even though, it seems, that he’s become quite possibly the greatest mark in modern history for the ever-evolving cadre of hyperpredatory startup founders.
Blast From the Past
One of my good friends from college (HWS class of ‘08) with whom I played a decent amount of music with and sorta juggled some radio shows has a pretty nice setup that allows him to travel a lot, so he’s come over 2 times this past year. We headed over to a Halloween party jointly hosted by Tokyo Weekender and Millennials of Tokyo (which I’ve been interviewed by a few times), got some photos done by Michael Holmes, whom I’ve been working with for like 12 years. Great stuff.
Elevandi Launch Party
I was also fortunate enough to be invited to the launch party for one of Tokyo’s newest and shiniest investment funds for fintech in, Elevandi. Exciting stuff, especially considering that Pieter Franken of Safecast fame is behind it - I’ve had nothing but respect for his work ever since I learned of his efforts in the post-tsunami Tohoku landscape. Really visionary guy, and a seasoned musician enough to also suggest that he’s putting together a fintech band lol.
Nepenthes @ Leave Them All Behind 2023
Nepenthes: One of my favorite active bands in Japan and also fronted by the guy who’s unbelievably responsible for me being in Japan playing “Cut Throat” off of their new album, Grand Guignol.
Until Next Time
There’s a whole helluva lot going on these days, so much so that I find it hard to sit down and write these things. As if that’s never been the case, right? Haha. But hey, it is the case, so we’re gonna have to navigate these busy, often-double-booked waters together.
As ever, though, I do appreciate you reading this far - it might be a challenge to pump these things out at a decent clip, but it is an activity I find very fulfilling. Even more so knowing that there are others out there checking it out.
So yeah, thanks! And see you next time, when I promise to tell you about the extravagant weirdness of The Burn, a very cool Professional Business community, how the new beer tastes, and much, much more!
In the mean time, share this around, yeah?